Made

I went to San Diego for Epic Conference this weekend without expectations, excitement, nothing. Honestly, I didn't even know what the theme was going to be about. The first day I came into conference tired and frustrated, coming out of a ten hour adventure from SLO to SD. My heart wasn't in it, my head wasn't in it. All I could think about was me on my bed, asleep. Second day comes around. Seminars. The first seminar I chose was a women's seminar on relationships. Now I know what you're thinking. "OOOOH BOYYYYS!" Sure, sure, we talked about our relationship with boys, but, more importantly, we talked about our relationships with other women. I put a lot of effort into my relationships with my friends, but I realized how easy it is to slip into emotional dependence. Many times I tell them every inch of my life, and this causes an emptiness when they aren't available to talk. Rather than leaning on them, I learned that I needed to lean on God who will guide my relationships with girls (and boys). My second choice was a seminar on perfectionism. I'm not perfect in any sense of the word. I don't get straight A's, I am too fast to speak, I snore. However, throughout the years I realized I placed my worth on what other people thought of me, beating myself up every single time I thought I made a mistake. "What if that person doesn't like me anymore? What if they see me differently? I must impress these people so that I can be accepted" were constantly running through my mind. I'm not going to sit here and lie; I still have these thoughts. However, I recognized the fact that my approval from man was placed on a pedestal above my worth in Christ. Through prayer, I hope that I can grow my relationship with God. It's hard not to see myself as unworthy many times, and it's hard for me to see any change in heart, but I know God moves mountains, and He is someone I can depend on. The whole conference was based on our worth and how HE MADE us all differently to be used to glorify Him in different ways.

My lovely sophomore brothers and sisters