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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Anxiety... Anxiety... Happiness?

Let's just all take this time to take a deep, deep, miserable sigh, shall we? 1, 2, 3 breathe in and, take as long as you need, to breathe it all out. Shoot, I am such a drama queen. However, this past week has been a rough one... all this housing stuff and so on and so forth has been seriously damaging my vibe. I wonder why it is so difficult to make a decision, why our choices are polar opposites of each other, why this is causing so much silent havoc in my life. Is there no happy medium? Maybe God is teaching me to be more assertive? More patient? Right now I just want all of this to go away. Enter, another sigh. Because I have never had to go through something like this, I think anxiety and nervousness has been consuming my life. Now, I know that I am not going to be homeless by any means, but the uncertainty is making me antsy. Thank goodness I have Shaina to put me in my place. She's always reminding me to choose happiness and joy, reminding me that we aren't going to be hobos on the street, and reminding me to think twice about my decisions so that I don't regret them in the future. I'm sure I can be annoying at times, and my indecisiveness doesn't help in the least bit, but I also believe that the rewards will be greater and far more lasting than what I feel right now.
On another note, yesterday was The Pitch! An informative meeting for prospective Bible Study leaders lead by Cru with a super cute baseball theme, might I add. I hoarded so many snacks. Heh. Heh. Though there is still an application process, I feel so blessed that God has placed this opportunity into my life, and am so excited to see how it all works out! (: See, I can be optimistic and happy about SOMETHING.
Next week comes midterms, essays, and projects, so all I can say is, bring it on spring quarter, bring it on.

With determination,
-S.Park


I got a guitar, yo. Sorry neighbors and roommates

We made it to the top of Bishops! So blessed by Liv (:

Calvary Easter service. The children's choir was SO ADORABLE!

Sunday, April 20, 2014

He is Risen!!

Happy Easter Everyone!!
Isn't it so amazing that Jesus died on the cross for us and rose again? Honestly, I go through this whole Easter thing every single year, and most times I'm like, "Yes, yes. Jesus died. Yes. Thank you" without much conviction. This year, however, I reevaluated the meaning of the cross. Why did God choose Jesus? Why were we born with sin? were thoughts that I was ashamed of asking myself. However, upon further thought and evaluation I realized that God didn't even have to make us in the first place. We could be little globules of nonexistence. God chose us and made us to glorify Him and have a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ out of His mercy and grace, and sent His one and only Son to die in our sinful place. Why should I even question that kind of grace?

This quarter has been rough, already. School wise I am loving my professors, though all pretty tough, I would rather come out of the class learning something worth the money my parents put into the school. However, looking for housing has been stressful to say the least. I think God is teaching me patience through all of this, though, honestly, I haven't even been waiting that long. I guess I'm just anxious, but I know something will turn up! :) Not gonna lie, I was a hot mess for a couple of days frantically calling apartments for openings and such, but I just get super nervous. I'm only human, you know. Friends have been so gracious and loving these past few weeks, and valuable friendships in the women's community have been growing. I am constantly reminded of God's loving plan that He has for me, and that I don't need to be anxious or worried. Other than that, I am looking forward to spring retreat and the fellowship and worship that will happen there! I don't really know what to expect, but I always come out learning something valuable and new, so I doubt that this weekend will be different from the past!

Just a quick update since I have been too lazy/otherwise occupied.

Happiest Resurrection Day!!

-S.Park