Monday, December 15, 2014

Possibly, Probably Peace

Hello,
I am at home! Getting back into the 9pm-7am sleeping schedule, eating mama-made Korean food, and rolling around doing whatever I want because guess what? IT'S WINTER BREAK, Y'ALL! I am so relieved this past quarter is over and done, though I have yet to find out my grades (cue death music). I think processing this quarter has brought a lot of things into the light. Laying out all of the options I have for my future, I think I am most at peace with opportunities in the educational system. Sure, a nice, steady job in some big company would be awesome, but I think my desire to be hired in such a company was rooted in pride. As I have mentioned in some of my previous posts, I felt as though I was looked down upon for being an English major. Sure, I say that their words don't matter and that I'm not affected by them, but I am. I do care what people think about me. Of course I want people to respect me. Of course I want people to think I'm an intelligent person. Who wouldn't? Being hired at a company with a name would help me prove myself, right? Eh... I'm not so sure about that anymore. My obsession with the thoughts of others, which I don't even know to be true, have hindered me from looking at my strengths. With that, I honestly believe education is the route for me. Ever since San Francisco missions after my Freshmen year of college, I longed to serve at an urban school. Children are forced into gangs to support their families at the ripe old age of 7. Shocking, I know. I want to help students find something they are passionate about, strengths worth pursuing, outlets that don't involve violence. My high school English teachers constantly challenged me in ways that eventually made me love a subject I previously hated. I want that. Of course, economic stability, wealth, status are all fine and dandy, but I was looking at these God-given blessings without God in the picture at all. It took me a long time to let go of my materialistic, pride-driven desires to realize this. I definitely respect those working in business making our world technologically and economically possible, you all are extremely intelligent and talented in ways that my brain cannot fathom, but I just think everyone was gifted in different ways to do different things. Different passions may come with a lot of money or none at all, but I hope I learn to use my talents in ways that are glorifying to God, advancing His Kingdom rather than focusing on worldly expectations. Maybe God's mission field for me is within the school, while another's is in the workplace. I am so afraid of taking risks, making big decisions, but I think/hope this is right. Constant prayer is definitely mandatory. I just have to get through applications... Oh golly real life is so close. ACKKK...

Putting on her big girl pants,

S.Park


Thursday, December 4, 2014

Trust

Hello my lovely people,
I have literally been so uninvolved it's kind of ridiculous. I'm sitting here at work wondering why I have been so lazy about posting on this blog, and I, of course, can use the excuse of school as for usual, but honestly everyday just seems to be a haze. The same events occur, and I am just exhausted. I love my classes, and I find them all very fulfilling. Taking on so much this quarter has been mentally tiring, but oh so satisfying at the same time. I feel as though the end is within reach, but I still have so much to do. Dead week is so NOT dead, but is DEFINITELY dead to me. Sitting here I can complain a lot about how much reading I have to do, how I have invested myself too much in Epic, or how working on campus has taken about all the remaining time I have, but I won't. It's hard to see it in the moment I'm feeling down, but God has blessed me greatly with these opportunities. Yes, yes, it is cliche. However cliche it is, everyone, especially me, complains about the amount of work we have to do. Psalm 128:2 states "You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you." Because of these experiences, God has grown me in so many ways. However challenging being a freshmen community group leader has been, I was forced (in a good way) to study, analyze, and apply the Word in ways I have never experienced during my time as a Christian, practically all my life. I learned to be a bit more selfless and patient (still working on it) and more willing to invest myself in the girls. While I feel worn, I never once felt burnt out because of Epic. Physically laboring for the Lord can definitely be tiring, but one lesson that specifically resonated with me was the idea of sacrificial love. If you were to have a significant other or family member, you would not only be willing, but happy to serve the one you love. Because you love them, this physical weariness is canceled out by overwhelming joy the other person feels as a result of your hard labor. If this is the case for us humanoids, how much greater is God's joy for us? God gives us the choice to do our work to glorify Him, and I hope I grow in my relationship with Him enough for me to be constantly and unconditionally satisfied in the busyness that is a result of work. It's been difficult for me to understand what I want for my future. I have always thought teaching was my one path,  but what about all the other paths? Will I regret not taking opportunities in other fields? As of now, I honestly have no idea. As much as I want to trust wholly in the Lord, it is SO HARD. I have no idea what He has planned for me, but that goes to show my faith in Him. I need more haha! I am definitely not a perfect person, and it's really hard for me to showcase that to others, but I think that I am so unsure of why certain things were placed in my life, though I know these things align with God's perfect plan. More trust. 

-S. Park 


The Lovely Women of Epic at Women's Time


Pumpkins with Pumpkin


Sunrise Bishops Hike... No, No, No


Fergalicious Round Dos

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Blame Stress

Hey!
So I have been seriously MIA for the past month, and I regret slacking so much because I feel like expressing what I have been going through on paper would have made everything so much more organized in my own mind. Anyways, enough with the excuses. This quarter has been non-stop fun, stressful, and outright tiring, however amidst all of the chaos, I feel like I continue to find joy through my friends, fellowship, family, and The Lord.  Juggling five classes, observing at a high school, serving as a small group leader, going to church, and work has not been easy, and I hope this quarter really helps me improve my organization and time management skills. Also, I started a second blog! Mostly for subjective projects, such as How-To's and Recipes, as well as some reviews on movies, books, shows, and performances. I'm actually really excited about it, and I hope it really grows me as a writer in other fields of writing. Being in English classes, I'm mainly exposed to analytical writing styles, maintaining a focused eye on the argument. On the other hand, my new blog will help me apply these skills to use writing more efficiently. I'm feeling pretty exhausted, and I currently have a headache. I never get headaches. What is happening to me? There has been a lot of uncertainty during this particular season, and I am striving to maintain a trusting relationship with the Lord. He will open the correct doors, and He knows what is planned for us in the future. Of course, I wonder what these plans are. I am still pretty anxious about it, but having the certainty that God will meet us wherever we are takes the weight off of our own shoulders and places it on His.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
 Proverbs 3:5 

With a bit more peace,

S.Park

My beautiful freshmen beauties


Shaina and I pretending to be hip (expressing our rivalry through sportswear)


Nathania, my work buddy and co-leader for Community Groups (small group)


Sunday, October 5, 2014

My Anaconda Don't?

Hello people who think I'm probably extremely weird by now,
Things going to get weirder... Shaina and I made another video! Some people love it, and others love to hate it. I happen to think they are the videos that are going to play in the background of our individual weddings. People will probably be confused as to why the video is of the two of us and not of us and our husbands, but that's how much we love these things. They are so us. We are not ashamed. Shaina has been my rock throughout my experience at Cal Poly, and I am so grateful for her honest, unashamed, God loving, Sarah loving, coffee addicted, sports crazed, cooky, weird, wonderful self. I seriously would've transferred by now if it wasn't for her, and I am so happy that she is my roommate and pillow talk buddy every night. So, honestly, I don't care if you think the two of us have lost our minds in this video. I just don't, and trust me when I say that I am normally someone who cares a whole lot of what others think of me. THIS ONE IS FOR YOU SHAINS!


Saturday, October 4, 2014

The Ever So Cliché Beginning of the End

A Few Words On the Last First Week of School


Well school started… so that’s a thing. Honestly, I’m glad school started because it keeps me busy and helps me organize my time in an efficient manner. One thing I’m not looking forward to is applying to schools, but that’s another subject. So this year I’m leading Bible Study, which is such a blessing, and I love meeting the new freshmen this year. However, this comes with great responsibility, and I was not prepared for what being a Bible Study leader actually entailed. This whole week has been stuffed with events for Epic and we had to call around 300 freshmen, as well as go to about 120 dorms to meet them. I look at those numbers and I see how much work we have to put into this year, but when I look at those numbers I also see how much God is moving on campus. 300 freshmen signed up! 300! For our club of 80-100 people those numbers are great, and I’m amazed I get to witness this type of turnout. We had around 50 freshmen come out to dessert potluck, which is definitely more than we had last year, and I have met some of the sweetest girls… and a couple English majors YAY! It’s definitely going to be a busy quarter, but I’m taking it one day at a time, and so far I’m still functioning. I know that God will be with me and all the other Bstud leaders this year, and I hope He moves in big ways this year! It was a bit discouraging to see the numbers drop in our first week of Community Group, but I know that God is going to reveal His plan in big ways (: Maybe this is just a transition year, or maybe this is a growing year. Who knows? Every year is just as important as the last and every year is a new season. We shall see how things are when I have like a million things to do and think about, but for now I'm going to enjoy my sleep while I can. Yes. Sleep. 

From the girl awake past her bedtime, 

-S.Park


The Freshmen Community Group Leaders


Thursdays Are Epic

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Misplaced Desire

Hello!
Recently I have found myself perusing the idea of what it is like to date as a Christian woman. There are many pressures we face in this world to date. Whether that is from family, watching your friends date, or your own "need" to satisfy that empty feeling. I'm sure many people struggle in this area; why else would us girls want to talk about this topic ALL THE TIME? Don't lie, I know you think it's an interesting topic. Yes, I am single and to be honest I didn't always find satisfaction in that.  I idolized acceptance and I desired to be liked by a physical being rather than seeking love from our Creator. I read an article online on the Resurgence website titled "For the Gals: 8 Principles for Dating," and it really made me do a heart check. What I liked about this article is that it focused and centered itself not on the relationship between the man and woman, but our relationship with God. It challenged me to consider my intentions and my expectations for a relationship, and my heart wasn't centered around loving and seeking God first. I have to remind myself that if, as a single girl, I dedicate my whole being and attention to the love that God has for us first, I won't need to constantly look for the potential "the one" and trust that God has one for me when His timing and His will directs me towards that direction. We are loved already by a God who has died for sinners like me and you, someone who has disregarded that love time and time again. I have much repenting to do for trusting in my own will and not His. Read the article when you have a chance! It's very simple, straight forward, and honest. This topic is a bit embarrassing for me, but I really think it's worth a read even if you're already dating! (:

http://theresurgence.com/2012/03/19/for-the-gals-8-principles-for-dating

-S.Park

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Books, Books, Books: The Help by Kathryn Stockett

All my bookworms out there this is a MUST READ. I cannot emphasize how much I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Yes, I have watched the movie a handful of times, and yes, the movie does a good job of conveying the events of this story. If you're afraid of reading it because you've already seen the movie, don't be. The book has like 10 times the amount of information and the way the story transitions between the perspectives of Skeeter, Minnie, and Aibilene is a great way to see the different perspectives of the events that occur. To be honest, Minnie was my favorite character and I would power through the other two character's stories to get back to her's. Though I've seen the movie, I did not view the characters as the people who portrayed them in the movie, but rather as their own separate entity, and I kind of appreciated that because one of the best parts about reading the book is to be able to imagine the setting and the people that fill it. The way she includes historical events that actually occurred during the sixties was also a great way to brush up on some civil rights history, and it made the book seem all the more real. Stockett made sure the reader hated the villains and treasure and love the protagonists. That fiery passion that the audience builds up against the antagonist will make you want to sprint to the end of the book, which is exactly what I did. It was refreshing to read this book, though maybe it didn't depict exactly what the help was thinking; after all, the book was written by a woman raised by the help not someone who actually was the help, the book teamed the reader up with the underdog and genuinely wanted them to win. We all know what goes down in history after the 60s, and we know that every race is not separate from each other in the way of the law, but the emotions and the bravery behind our country's past injustice was revealed and through this my eyes were definitely opened to some of these realities. I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH!! PLEASE READ IT, PLEASEEEEE. That is all.

With sadness that I read the whole thing and there is no more,

S.Park