Thursday, September 4, 2014

Misplaced Desire

Recently I have found myself perusing the idea of what it is like to date as a Christian woman. There are many pressures we face in this world to date. Whether that is from family, watching your friends date, or your own "need" to satisfy that empty feeling. I'm sure many people struggle in this area; why else would us girls want to talk about this topic ALL THE TIME? Don't lie, I know you think it's an interesting topic. Yes, I am single and to be honest I didn't always find satisfaction in that.  I idolized acceptance and I desired to be liked by a physical being rather than seeking love from our Creator. I read an article online on the Resurgence website titled "For the Gals: 8 Principles for Dating," and it really made me do a heart check. What I liked about this article is that it focused and centered itself not on the relationship between the man and woman, but our relationship with God. It challenged me to consider my intentions and my expectations for a relationship, and my heart wasn't centered around loving and seeking God first. I have to remind myself that if, as a single girl, I dedicate my whole being and attention to the love that God has for us first, I won't need to constantly look for the potential "the one" and trust that God has one for me when His timing and His will directs me towards that direction. We are loved already by a God who has died for sinners like me and you, someone who has disregarded that love time and time again. I have much repenting to do for trusting in my own will and not His. Read the article when you have a chance! It's very simple, straight forward, and honest. This topic is a bit embarrassing for me, but I really think it's worth a read even if you're already dating! (:


Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Books, Books, Books: The Help by Kathryn Stockett

All my bookworms out there this is a MUST READ. I cannot emphasize how much I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Yes, I have watched the movie a handful of times, and yes, the movie does a good job of conveying the events of this story. If you're afraid of reading it because you've already seen the movie, don't be. The book has like 10 times the amount of information and the way the story transitions between the perspectives of Skeeter, Minnie, and Aibilene is a great way to see the different perspectives of the events that occur. To be honest, Minnie was my favorite character and I would power through the other two character's stories to get back to her's. Though I've seen the movie, I did not view the characters as the people who portrayed them in the movie, but rather as their own separate entity, and I kind of appreciated that because one of the best parts about reading the book is to be able to imagine the setting and the people that fill it. The way she includes historical events that actually occurred during the sixties was also a great way to brush up on some civil rights history, and it made the book seem all the more real. Stockett made sure the reader hated the villains and treasure and love the protagonists. That fiery passion that the audience builds up against the antagonist will make you want to sprint to the end of the book, which is exactly what I did. It was refreshing to read this book, though maybe it didn't depict exactly what the help was thinking; after all, the book was written by a woman raised by the help not someone who actually was the help, the book teamed the reader up with the underdog and genuinely wanted them to win. We all know what goes down in history after the 60s, and we know that every race is not separate from each other in the way of the law, but the emotions and the bravery behind our country's past injustice was revealed and through this my eyes were definitely opened to some of these realities. I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH!! PLEASE READ IT, PLEASEEEEE. That is all.

With sadness that I read the whole thing and there is no more,


Tuesday, August 5, 2014


I think that courage is something I lack in. Partly because of my self-doubt and lack of confidence, the anxiety that comes with wondering what people think of you, but also the realization that I was stuck. Reading the Bible all my life, hearing the Gospel countless times, taking Communion every year gets to be a routine. I hear it, it comes in me as the truth, and then it leaves until the next time I hear it, when it should be planted in my heart and convict me to do something. Though I admit I judge others when they do drugs or party or curse (how typical, right?), I do nothing, NOTHING, to share the Gospel. Why? Because I'm scared of what they'll think. This past Sunday, my pastor shared about the book of Ecclesiastes (a book that has followed me since the beginning of last school year). His message opened up the topic of fearing the Lord. Who do we fear more? People or God, the One who created every single person on this earth? Either we do not fear the Lord or we do not have love for other people and a desire for them to come to know the Lord. Ouch. When he spoke those words I knew that they were true. I live my life in fear, but I question whether that is fear from my consciousness, the fear of being condemned, or fear that wants to repent and draw closer to the Lord. Do I love other people enough to lay down my pride or fear of being judged and present the Gospel, the only way to Heaven? Do I love my family enough to do this? Evangelism has ALWAYS been hard for me because I lack desire. My Bible study is going through the series of Matthew, and we are on our last week going through the crucifixion. Reading the passage this morning I was awakened by the questions my packet asked me. "1. If you struggle with being bold about your faith, how does the mocking of Jesus give you courage?"
"2. In Matthew 27:32, a man named Simon was asked to carry Jesus' cross. Jesus himself said that to be a disciple we must deny ourselves and pick up our cross. In what areas of your life do you need to bear your cross daily?"
"3. How does it affect you knowing that it was the love of Christ that compelled him to bear your sin on the cross?"
What we sacrifice daily is absolutely miniature to what Christ did to save us on the cross when He did absolutely nothing wrong in His entire human life on this earth. It's easy to forget the excruciating pain He went through on the day of His crucifixion: the lashings, the thorn crown, the reed, the nailing, the hanging. How can I ever fully imagine that kind of pain? Which is exactly why I need to remind myself of His sacrifice daily. We can't imagine it because Jesus already paid our price. That one day, that one sacrifice washed ALL of our sins away if we just repent before the Lord. How powerful is Jesus' blood?! Jesus' sacrifice and courage to love those who killed Him and die for them is beyond anything we have to do on this earth. We are called to simply spread the news of what the Lord did for us on the cross. While thinking over this, I realized how ungrateful I was being by putting my needs before God's. I was idolizing the opinion of others before the opinion of the Lord. I hope that this realization will help me remember the greater picture of God's plan rather than the small, worldly fixations I have with pride. 

With gratitude,

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Daehanmingook, Saranghae

Ahnyung Unnies and Oppas and Dongsangs all around! Or hi.
I just came back from a trip to Korea, and I absolutely fell in love with the motherland all over again. I honestly am going to save up all the money I earn just to go back next year haha! Not only was hanging out and being lazy with my cousins and family fun, but my mom, sister, and I were able to explore many parts of Korea rather than staying in Seoul the entire time. I'm going to split this trip up according to transportation types because I literally rode all kinds. 

Of course we had to ride a plane to Korea, six hours from Myanmar to Korea to be exact. Korean Air is the business, I slept pretty much the whole time! When we landed in Korea I was literally hit with a wall of humidity, but it felt like heaven compared to Myanmar's heat/rain/humidity. After 4 flights within three weeks, I think I've had enough. 

Unlike California, taxis are everywhere. Starting at 3000 won, approx. 3 dollars, it's cheap and taxi drivers are seriously the best drivers I have ever seen. The streets in Korea are mean, and I thought I was going to get hit more than once while walking around, but the drivers swerve in and out without a sweat. Super convenient when coming to and from the subway station, as well as, to and from our hotel room to the bus station when we were on our trip. Of course cars are always nice to have, but with my uncles working and my aunts having their own schedules to attend to, cars weren't always available.

We traveled to the southernmost edge of Korea, as well as, the second largest city, after Seoul, Busan by bus. It takes about 4 hours from Seoul, northern Korea, to Tongyeong, the southernmost part of Korea, and about 2 hours from Tongyeong to Busan. I loved hearing the different dialects of the Korean language, and the different markets and shopping centers, of course. After staying in Seoul the other times I've been to Korea, I never realized just how scenic and green Korea is. It is absolutely beautiful with so much oxygen it hurts. Though Tongyeong is the countryside with many little markets and stores with kimbap, what they're famous for, Busan is more like Seoul with department stores and streets filled with shopping, as well as, the famous fish market. Where else can you get a basket of clams, octopus, squid, shrimp, and fish for five dollars? A steal! Also, the bingsoo in Busan was some of the best I've had in Korea :)

Cable Car:
Tongyeong is known for their cable car system which moves up and down the mountain revealing trees upon trees and the seaside. The view was refreshing!

We rode a boat off the tip of Korea to one of the smaller islands where people go to hike and view the scenery. We actually weren't wearing the right attire and were pretty much stuck doing nothing for two hours, but the boat ride was really exciting and being so close to other islands was a really cool experience. I normally don't like boats, but the hour trip there and back wasn't bad at all!

Coming back from our trip back to Seoul, we took the bullet train which gets to Northern Korea in half that time as it would on the bus. Also, because Korea is known to have one of the best Wifi systems in the world, I was able to sift through the surprisingly fast internet while enjoying the scenery outside. 

Subway is one of the most important modes of transportation in the city areas of Korea. Not only did we use it in Seoul, but we also used it in Busan since they are more urbanized. We took it to the amusement park, Lotte World, where we met up with the girls on the Myanmar team, to the South Gate where there is a major flee market, to one of Korea's palaces, and many more places (mostly shopping and eating and shopping again). People watching is the best on the subway, so many different types of people. Students in uniforms, grandmas in flower patterned pants, parents with the cutest babies, young people all on their phones watching their shows with the antennas sticking up. Rush hour though don't even think about getting a seat, and it's so smelly I wanted to cry. My mom even told me there are push men whose jobs are to push people into the subway haha! 

I have never walked more in one day than I have while in Korea. All the flee markets, fish markets, scenic views, local markets, eateries, shops, church, everywhere is walking, walking, walking. I love that everything is so accessible and it makes you feel like you worked for your food, which is amazing might I add. I think walking with your friends up and down the street is what brings people together. Linked arms and busy talking is all up and down the city. Seriously everywhere you go! That's something I'll miss and wished there was more of in the states. So much fun is literally a footstep away! Friends are all just a couple streets over and restaurants are everywhere you turn to look. Ugh take me back faster, faster! I knew there was a reason I used to want to trade my US citizenship for a Korean one lol! Not only that, but I LOVE my cousins, uncles, aunts, and my grandma! Though I missed my poor father who had to teach summer school, I loved being able to spend time with them (: <3

Missing my Motherland,

In front of the Korean Palace

Only some of the bingsoos we had in Korea! (:

Cousins and grandma... thank you for letting me bother you and wake you up while you were sleeping 

In front of SM Entertainment. Crazy fan girls waiting for celebrities to make appearances

Watching my cousin and uncle play soccer. They got 5 out of the 6 goals!!

Some authentic KBarbie

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Minglaba, Myanmar

Anyunghasaeyo or Minglaba or Hello!
Currently I'm in Korea meandering the country after spending 5 days in Myanmar on a missions trip. I haven't been updating because I've been too busy enjoying my time in Asia, and because access to a computer is limited as my grandmother doesn't own one lol.
Myanmar was definitely a trying and difficult missions trip. Though we only served the VBS for 3 days and traveled for about 20 hours there and 6 hours back to Korea, I felt as though I was tested and pushed in many ways. It was revealed to me that I don't have too much compassion and I still want to please people more than anything else. Also, my physical health was in the dumps. The second we stopped at LAX, I landed wrong out of the van and because I have a torn ACL, my bones felt as though they became disjointed. It hurt more than when I actually tore it, and started to black out, but thankfully after sitting for a couple minutes felt normal again. That was the only time my knee gave me problems the entire trip! PTL! I loved the country of Myanmar, though extremely humid and traffic-dense, the children at the education center were so passionate about The Lord, they surrendered their entire being to Him because He is their hope. The last day I served was so hard because I became more sick than I have ever felt before, temperature running high and bathroom issues you would not like to know the details of. I was miserable to be quite frank. I found myself not wanting or able to play with the kids or do worship moves, I unfortunately had to lie down through the activities. I was thankfully able to play the guitar for the last set and the way the kids worship is so pure. It seems as though they have no other thought other than The Lord, singing at the top of their lungs. I realized that I worship with the motions and the routine of church conscious of other people. I always feel as though I learn more than I go and share haha. It was definitely physically challenging and the language barrier was rough, but I feel as though going was so much more worth it and I hope to go back someday. Leaving the students was the hardest thing to do, but I know that God is moving in their school. Until next time.


Saturday, June 21, 2014

The End. Bye.

So last week I had the bitter task of moving out of SLO and back home for the summer. It was actually really upsetting because, though of course I missed my family and my bed, I really felt as though I was leaving a place I had grown accustomed to and my Epic familia. The day before I left, or should I say the morning of, a group of friends and I had a desire to adventure around the SLO area one last time before parting ways to worlds of internships, jobs, home, missions, etc. Norman, Shaina, and I started at SLODOCO and decided to go 4 rounds before the night ended, and we somehow ended up dragging along Danny, David, and A-a-ron, as well. 4 rounds quickly became 6. We then sauntered off to Perfumo Canyon, a rather sketchy mountainous road up to see the stars. The stars were SO BRIGHT as was the full moon. I forgot how pretty SLO was at night, and how you can actually see stars freckle the sky unlike LA. I had to go pee rather urgently, but it was enjoyable while it lasted. Somehow next we ended up at In N Out, and though it smelled heavenly, I ate a nice, large steak before the adventure and was not hungry. So that was three rounds. Our 4th was my personal favorite, the Pismo Beach Pier. It is seriously so amazing seeing the ocean at night, a kind of haunting new perspective. We frolicked hard core on the pier, and took some all too attractive pictures... we're basically a band. Our 5th location was, by Aaron's recommendation, was the SLO cemetery to go see some pyramid. Now this isn't like one of those modern cemeteries with cremated bodies under plaques, there were statues and tombstones over like 90% of the dead people. So creepy. Not to mention the pyramid was like in the back of the lot, I made the guys stand next to me so I don't get sucked in LOL jk... but really. Anyways, we made it to the pyramid and it was made out of granite and was super big, fashioned for a family of three, but the dad was missing nbd. I guess it was a cool experience. Sort of. Our final location was where we began, sweet little SLODOCO. Such a crazy night/morning, not to mention we had our friends' graduations the next morning... I make great decisions in life. It was worth it, though. Coming home is always awesome, and it's finally hitting me that I'm actually going to Myanmar and Korea, and I am so excited! However, I found out I actually tore my ACL, after 4 doctor's appointments in one day lol... It would happen to me haha, but I'm thankful I can get surgery over the summer and not when I'm going to school! Anyways, ramble ramble as for usual. I'll try to keep my blog updated in Asia! (:

With much excitement,
PC: ma gurl Shaina Jung!

Round 2: Perfumo Canyon... Danny's a noob

Round 4: Pismo Beach

Round 5: Ze Pyramid and my shadow... oooooh

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

La Dee Da

Good Morning People of the Interweb!
Why are you on the internet instead of studying for finals? Just kidding so am I... obviously. Anywhozzles this week is super bitter but super sweet, as well. Being the last week of school, I'm really busy with finals and projects and essays per the usual, but spending quality time with a lot of people I love keeps me going. First off, I had to say bye to Livia *insert tears on tears,* and though I'm going to see her again in the fall, it's weird not seeing her beautimous face every week... or multiple times a week. She's become one of my closest friends in SLO, and I'm so thankful that we are not only able to seek God and His Word together, but also that we are able to be weird and crazy together. Only she accepts my crazy, delusional, girls gone wild weirdness in the wee hours of the night, well, because she does it too! She's off in Florida on summer project, and I cannot be more happy for her! I'm confident that she's going to be doing amazing things through God this year, and I can't wait to hear all about it and all about the gaters she's eaten. Another farewell is to dearest Mama Yan. Shaina, Ginny, and I can talk for hours on hours and days on days about anything from school to Epic to our personal lives, and she is so compassionate and wise! I'm SOO going to miss her and her passionate self. SO SAD! Also, I was able to have a one on one with Esther making super fast choco chip cookies, we're basically pros, eating an amazing home cooked meal by E-dizzle, and singing duets. I love spending time with her, goofing off with her, and getting to know her more and more! Also, I love her passion for music and her willingness to sing with me haha :)! On the other hand, we are moving into our new apartment tomorrow! It'll be fun reinventing our own space, Shaina and I, and I'm excited to see how this new place affects our lives for the, hopefully, upcoming twoish years. My parents are coming up to move me out, and it'll be awesome to have a little reunion with them. School has taken a turn for the worse compared to the past couple of quarters, and I realized how hard group projects can be, but I know that I'm learning to be patient and understanding, while also trying not to find my worth in my schoolwork. It's hard because I want to please those I surround myself with through being the best at everything I do, but it just never works out that way, and I am just now realizing this. Though, of course, I'm striving to be the best that I can be, I know that grades, in the end, are meaningless if I am not doing it to glorify the Lord, a Lord that doesn't want us to find our worth in grades or looks, but in Him. I'm not using this whole meaningless thing as an excuse for my poor grades, but I'm trying not to beat myself up too much for it, or think of myself as lower or worthless. EEEE Summer is so close I can feel the heat and the lazy days at home, but I'm not quite there, yet. Only two and a half more days! Let's do this, yo!

With conflicting emotions,

Our I Won't Give Up/Wrecking Ball Cover hehe

Post Haircut! Thanks Shainaniganns :)

With my fave she-devil at farmers

Last discipleship of the year with this beauty :'(

Phonathon Banquet with the Fuads 

Ginny, don't leave us!

The night we thought we were masterchefs