It's All Too Real

Hmmm... What to even write about... I'm sitting here on this perfectly gloomy Wednesday afternoon, though I keep thinking it's Thursday, unable to focus on anything. I'm just a hot mess. School isn't looking too appealing to me right at this moment, and the amount of studying I have been doing is literally a shame to all mankind. I deserve to be punished for my laziness. It's spring quarter, a pretty hard one at that, and all I want to do is go to the beach and play, play, play. And eat. Can't forget the food. Don't you have those days when you just want to have the sudden desire to WANT to study? Wouldn't THAT be something? I am currently in my poetry class, listening to a class presentation wondering when my professor will stop his thunderous laughing. Please, sir, just stop. Two days later... Okay so not gonna lie, I totally stopped writing this, and am finishing this post like now... Whatevs. We had Women's Time yesterday! I had such an amazing time with my other sisters, and lead worship for the first time with a guitar. Initially, I was super nervous because I have never played in front of people other than like my roommates, but then I was like this is for God. Not me or my pride or my self-satisfaction. I think Women's Time in general was just a reminder of all of that. Only God can satisfy my dissatisfactions, my emptiness, my lack of motivation. I hung out with an upperclassmen, Katie, yesterday, and she is honestly so wise and amazing! I was talking about how I found myself being complacent with certain things, and she reminded me that as much as it is important for us to pour into each other, God is the one who should pour into us and satisfy us. Why do I forget this so often? I'm always thinking about what other people can do for me, or how affirmation from people satisfy me, but at the end of the day, isn't this life about God? I'm gonna miss you, Katie!!!! Never leave!! I seriously LOVE the women's community in EPIC. Though we are far from perfect, I can honestly say I can count on every single one of the women to be there for me whenever I'm in a sticky situation or if I just need someone to talk to about life. Now onwards to MAPP prep! :)

With satisfaction,
S. Park