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Thursday, December 4, 2014

Trust

Hello my lovely people,
I have literally been so uninvolved it's kind of ridiculous. I'm sitting here at work wondering why I have been so lazy about posting on this blog, and I, of course, can use the excuse of school as for usual, but honestly everyday just seems to be a haze. The same events occur, and I am just exhausted. I love my classes, and I find them all very fulfilling. Taking on so much this quarter has been mentally tiring, but oh so satisfying at the same time. I feel as though the end is within reach, but I still have so much to do. Dead week is so NOT dead, but is DEFINITELY dead to me. Sitting here I can complain a lot about how much reading I have to do, how I have invested myself too much in Epic, or how working on campus has taken about all the remaining time I have, but I won't. It's hard to see it in the moment I'm feeling down, but God has blessed me greatly with these opportunities. Yes, yes, it is cliche. However cliche it is, everyone, especially me, complains about the amount of work we have to do. Psalm 128:2 states "You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you." Because of these experiences, God has grown me in so many ways. However challenging being a freshmen community group leader has been, I was forced (in a good way) to study, analyze, and apply the Word in ways I have never experienced during my time as a Christian, practically all my life. I learned to be a bit more selfless and patient (still working on it) and more willing to invest myself in the girls. While I feel worn, I never once felt burnt out because of Epic. Physically laboring for the Lord can definitely be tiring, but one lesson that specifically resonated with me was the idea of sacrificial love. If you were to have a significant other or family member, you would not only be willing, but happy to serve the one you love. Because you love them, this physical weariness is canceled out by overwhelming joy the other person feels as a result of your hard labor. If this is the case for us humanoids, how much greater is God's joy for us? God gives us the choice to do our work to glorify Him, and I hope I grow in my relationship with Him enough for me to be constantly and unconditionally satisfied in the busyness that is a result of work. It's been difficult for me to understand what I want for my future. I have always thought teaching was my one path,  but what about all the other paths? Will I regret not taking opportunities in other fields? As of now, I honestly have no idea. As much as I want to trust wholly in the Lord, it is SO HARD. I have no idea what He has planned for me, but that goes to show my faith in Him. I need more haha! I am definitely not a perfect person, and it's really hard for me to showcase that to others, but I think that I am so unsure of why certain things were placed in my life, though I know these things align with God's perfect plan. More trust. 

-S. Park 


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