Made

I went to San Diego for Epic Conference this weekend without expectations, excitement, nothing. Honestly, I didn't even know what the theme was going to be about. The first day I came into conference tired and frustrated, coming out of a ten hour adventure from SLO to SD. My heart wasn't in it, my head wasn't in it. All I could think about was me on my bed, asleep. Second day comes around. Seminars. The first seminar I chose was a women's seminar on relationships. Now I know what you're thinking. "OOOOH BOYYYYS!" Sure, sure, we talked about our relationship with boys, but, more importantly, we talked about our relationships with other women. I put a lot of effort into my relationships with my friends, but I realized how easy it is to slip into emotional dependence. Many times I tell them every inch of my life, and this causes an emptiness when they aren't available to talk. Rather than leaning on them, I learned that I needed to lean on God who will guide my relationships with girls (and boys). My second choice was a seminar on perfectionism. I'm not perfect in any sense of the word. I don't get straight A's, I am too fast to speak, I snore. However, throughout the years I realized I placed my worth on what other people thought of me, beating myself up every single time I thought I made a mistake. "What if that person doesn't like me anymore? What if they see me differently? I must impress these people so that I can be accepted" were constantly running through my mind. I'm not going to sit here and lie; I still have these thoughts. However, I recognized the fact that my approval from man was placed on a pedestal above my worth in Christ. Through prayer, I hope that I can grow my relationship with God. It's hard not to see myself as unworthy many times, and it's hard for me to see any change in heart, but I know God moves mountains, and He is someone I can depend on. The whole conference was based on our worth and how HE MADE us all differently to be used to glorify Him in different ways.

My lovely sophomore brothers and sisters

Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?

How ADORABLE is Frozen? Sure, Flynn Rider is an absolute hunk, but there is just no equivalent to Olaf. Not only that, but the music is addicting... who knew Kristin Bell could sing like that? I definitely annoy my roommates with my constant "LET IT GOOOO, LET IT GOOOO." I so wanted to watch the movie again, that I went the second time with a group of people I wouldn't have thought of hanging out with. Totally spontaneous and unexpected, but surprisingly fun! This really goes to show how much a little effort and going outside of your comfort zone can go in getting to know and open up to other people. Now I'm not saying that you'll become best friends forever with a person you hang out with one time, but I think that I've been living inside of a comfort bubble with people I know accept me the way I am. Rather than worrying about whether or not a person likes you, I realized that I never gave people a chance. Sure, not everyone gets along, and that is just an inevitability. However, I look forward to getting to know the people in my class this quarter! Yay to new friendships and yay to a great start on a soon to be hard quarter!

New Year, New Goals

It's the start of a brand new year! All of 2013 felt like a new start; coming to a new school, developing new friendships, surviving in a new apartment with new roommates, it's all come and gone so fast. Even a year ago, at the start of my second quarter, I was unsure of my relationship with my friends. I second guessed whether or not they actually valued our friendship as much as I valued them. "Am I being too clingy? Ooh, maybe I shouldn't have said that" were a couple of the many thoughts I had whilst conversing with my potential best friends for life. Who knew building friendships from the ground up would be so thought consuming? However, aside from all those thoughts, I realized that the relationships I had with my friends were ones that were mutual, and that we were all just as insecure as the next person. As people, we tend to assume that our insecurities are much bigger than others, but we are all self-conscious, maybe in different aspects, but we wouldn't be human if we were perfect. Putting myself out there was the only way I was able to develop the relationships I have with my friends now, and taking that jump is crucial... unless, of course, the surface-level "how you doin'" is your conversation of choice, to each his own. Now I'm not saying that my relationship with my friends is perfect, it's only been a year after all, but I am striving to deepen connections with people in my class, and making an effort makes all the difference.
Relationship goals for 2014:

• Build/maintain deeper bonds with friends/roommates I already know and am close with.
• Spend time with people I am not as comfortable with.
• Speak to people in my English classes... rather than falling asleep...

Spiritually, this year has been interesting. As a freshman, I felt lonely many times throughout the year, and without trusting in God, I don't know if I would have transitioned into college as easily as I did. He has honestly blessed me so much this year, answering prayers for a good group of friends, a good church, good roommates, and a good fellowship. Pretty much, God is good... more than good! I honestly did not spend as much time with Him as He deserves, and I hope to become more faithful in the upcoming year. To be completely truthful, I didn't always want to pray or read the Bible (it was the laziness talking), but, as a Christian, these two things are critical in growing my faith and relationship with God. I learned that He does listen, and He does reply, though when trouble strikes it doesn't always feel like it. Also, going to San Francisco urban missions completely opened my eyes. Never did I think a city within my own state of California would be so broken. Sure I have heard of drug dealers and homeless people, but I have never encountered them to the extent that I had in San Francisco. I've been to Ghiradelli Square, Chinatown, Fisherman's Wharf, Union Square, but I definitely have never set foot on Sixth Street... that is until this past summer. How ironic is it that we, the middle/upper class, people who were raised with accessibility to school, food, and a home, are so prideful that we choose to look past the people who have nothing? Don't get me wrong, I was definitely afraid of the homeless people walking in, and to a certain extent, I still am. On the other hand, I see them as people who need our help, and in God's eyes, aren't we all equal? God gave me the resources I need so that I can be used to glorify God by blessing others, and that is something I really hope to improve upon in the upcoming year. I am writing this here so I have to keep my word and not only talk the talk.  

Spiritual Goals 2014:

• Read the Bible and QT daily.
• Reach out to those on campus.
• Bless others through what God has blessed me with.

Physically, this year has been a roller coaster ride for sure. During the week I eat healthy and exercise as much as possible... the weekend is my enemy. When Friday hits, its all over. Eat what I couldn't during the week is pretty much my motto, and this is not good for the body. Freshmen 15 is a true statement and, let me tell you, it hits hard and fast. I just want to feel good about the way I look and not regret everything I eat, and because I like a challenge I'm doing something crazy. No meat (except fish), no carbs. Starting tomorrow (because I ate meat and rice yesterday and today... fail). January third can still count as the first, right? I want to test out the waters, and see how it makes me feel. Starting with a month onwards. Baby steps. Maybe I can bribe myself by splurging on some kind of article of clothing or accessory every month I succeed. That's a pretty good deal, right? Food is literally my heart's best buddy, but my stomach's arch enemy. In the name of health! Sigh... posting on this blog means I have to keep my word. Thank you interweb for keeping me accountable...

Physical Goals 2014:

• Take out them carbs and meats (other than fish).
• Exercise at least 5 times a week (unless something serious prevents it).
• Stop snacking every time mouth is bored.
• Walk to school everyday.

Let's see how long this goes... Hmphhh

-S.Park

Christmas Cookies

Cookies. Need I say more? I spent the whole day with my kooky sister, Sharri, and Natalie, a ninth grade girlie who can keep you entertained for hours on end, baking cookies and making peppermint bark (my first time). Something about baking is extremely soothing, my stress-reliever of choice during the school period, however, being a perfectionist, trying out new recipes today had the opposite effect. While some recipes turned out delicious, others had to be thrown out. It was an experimenting day, and with every experiment, there are some good and some bad, but, thankfully, there was more good today. We successfully made classic chocolate chip, peppermint chocolate, and peppermint bark. Checkerboard cookies will have to be made next time with a few changes to the recipe, today was not a success. Maybe checkerboard was a bust, but peppermint bark is literally the easiest classic Christmas treat. I included the recipe at the bottom! :) 

I have finally mastered the art of the Chocolate Chip Cookie

Ingredients

12 oz Semi-Sweet Chocolate (morsels or chips)

12 oz White Chocolate (morsels or chips)

1 1/2 cups Crushed Peppermint Candies

Directions

Prepare a cookie sheet lined with a nonstick mat or parchment paper.

Crush the peppermint candies using a food processor, or put the candies in a freezer bag and use a rolling pin to smash it up (release that anger... it's what I did)

Put the Semi-Sweet Chocolate in a microwave safe bowl and microwave it on 30 second intervals until melted. Once melted, pour onto the prepared pan and spread the chocolate using a knife or a spatula until about 1/8th inch thick. Cool inside of the refrigerator for 5 min.

While the Semi-Sweet is cooling in the fridge, repeat the second step using white chocolate. Once melted, take out the semi-sweet from the refrigerator and spread the white on top of the semi-sweet using a knife or spatula until even. 

Before putting it in the fridge to cool, sprinkle all of the peppermint candy pieces evenly onto the chocolate. 

Cool for 30 min.

Once completely hardened, break the pieces by hand. 

The finished masterpiece (excuse the iPhone 4 quality)

-S.Park

Am I Famous Yet?

So... my friend/roommate, Shaina, and I have a tradition in which we make crazy videos of ourselves throughout the year. Two weeks ago, during the dreaded dead week, marked the official one year anniversary for our first set of videos! Oh, you're expecting something Beyoncé worthy? Well, let me tell you, you are in for a surprise. In honor of the Christmas season, we decided to keep it classy with a Christmas medley. You're welcome.

You thought that was good? Well, revealing the more serious, but not really that serious, side of me, I did a cover of J.Bieb's Mistletoe with my apartment mate, Lena. We may or may not be sitting on the toilet... In honor of the commencement of Christmas season and all things holly jolly, I present the video.

-S.Park

Final Frenzy

Gosh, this week has been absolutely crazy! I know this may sound a bit surprising for a college student, but I have never had four finals in a week before. Therefore, I feel like all I've been doing is either studying or sitting in front of my books pretending to study whilst browsing the internet. To be honest, when I started this post I should've be studying for español, but sólo vive una vida, sí? Amidst all of the final craziness, my roommates and I went to the weekly farmer's market in Downtown SLO. Though it was completely freezing, not to mention empty considering normal people wouldn't even think to walk around in the winter weather, we managed to gather the ingredients for some fresh guacamole, peruse the aisles of Urban Outfitters (extra 50% off sale items? Uh duh!),

 and take some pictures by a Christmas tree in a location of downtown we did not know existed. That's the thing about SLO; you think you know all there is to know about the city, but realize that there is always something else that pops out at you. Have I mentioned that I absolutely L.O.V.E. this time of year?! No matter what or who gets me down, one look at the sparkling lights, and I'm a goner. My heart absolutely melts at the sight of anything festive. To close off my time in SLO before winter break, a couple of friends and I went to Cambria spontaneously to walk through a field of Christmas lights upon Christmas lights. Though I was initially reluctant to go, considering I wanted to lay around and roll up and down my household to celebrate the end of finals season, I am so glad I did. It was simply beautiful, magical, and I was completely wonderstruck. It's crazy how you think you know how your day is going to end, but it turns out to be opposite of what you were planning. Isn't that always the case?

Ain't she a beaut?

- S.Park

New Beginning

Hello all,
If you haven't noticed, I took quite a break on this blog. The reason for this isn't anything specific, I just put it on the back burner, however, after a long talk with a friend about our need for creativity, I feel a new sense of excitement for this blog. Throughout the course of this new school year, I have been constantly reading and writing for that "A" I so desired. As an English major, I felt, and still feel, as though I had to prove myself to my classmates, parents, professors, and, most importantly, those who think being an English major is a waste of time. A lust for perfection overtook my original passion for my major. This past week I was studying for my seemingly never-ending, still not over, finals, and I thought to myself "Why did I choose English? Why didn't I choose something that people would respect? If I'm going to work hard anyways, I might as well have chosen something that would gain some respect." Sure I had an easy time telling people that English was the best decision I have ever made, and that I didn't care what people thought of me, but let's just be honest for a second. Talk is cheap. The approval of people was far greater than, not only the confidence I felt in myself, but confidence and satisfaction God has in me. Why am I seeking the respect of people, when the God of all things already loves and approves of me? This got me thinking. Of course, letting go of my need for approval isn't going to go away in one night, but I honestly trust that God is going to lead me in the path that I have chosen. Everyday, I'm learning about the ways in which God has been working in my life, and, though it is a continuous process, I long to do all things for the glory of God. Anyways, I want to continue writing on this blog to document my growth as a person, while including some other knick knacks here and there. Why? Because I can. Also, who wants to read a blog that's all deep and emotional all the time? That is so not me... at all. I'm going to be doing lots of baking recipes, as well as, some light hearted posts about random events that just so happen to frolic into my life. I'm so excited to start this again... can you tell? Lates homies, see ya on da flip side. <-- I have dishonored the language that is English. It's fun to rebel sometimes.
-S.Park