Trust

Hello my lovely people,
I have literally been so uninvolved it's kind of ridiculous. I'm sitting here at work wondering why I have been so lazy about posting on this blog, and I, of course, can use the excuse of school as for usual, but honestly everyday just seems to be a haze. The same events occur, and I am just exhausted. I love my classes, and I find them all very fulfilling. Taking on so much this quarter has been mentally tiring, but oh so satisfying at the same time. I feel as though the end is within reach, but I still have so much to do. Dead week is so NOT dead, but is DEFINITELY dead to me. Sitting here I can complain a lot about how much reading I have to do, how I have invested myself too much in Epic, or how working on campus has taken about all the remaining time I have, but I won't. It's hard to see it in the moment I'm feeling down, but God has blessed me greatly with these opportunities. Yes, yes, it is cliche. However cliche it is, everyone, especially me, complains about the amount of work we have to do. Psalm 128:2 states "You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you." Because of these experiences, God has grown me in so many ways. However challenging being a freshmen community group leader has been, I was forced (in a good way) to study, analyze, and apply the Word in ways I have never experienced during my time as a Christian, practically all my life. I learned to be a bit more selfless and patient (still working on it) and more willing to invest myself in the girls. While I feel worn, I never once felt burnt out because of Epic. Physically laboring for the Lord can definitely be tiring, but one lesson that specifically resonated with me was the idea of sacrificial love. If you were to have a significant other or family member, you would not only be willing, but happy to serve the one you love. Because you love them, this physical weariness is canceled out by overwhelming joy the other person feels as a result of your hard labor. If this is the case for us humanoids, how much greater is God's joy for us? God gives us the choice to do our work to glorify Him, and I hope I grow in my relationship with Him enough for me to be constantly and unconditionally satisfied in the busyness that is a result of work. It's been difficult for me to understand what I want for my future. I have always thought teaching was my one path,  but what about all the other paths? Will I regret not taking opportunities in other fields? As of now, I honestly have no idea. As much as I want to trust wholly in the Lord, it is SO HARD. I have no idea what He has planned for me, but that goes to show my faith in Him. I need more haha! I am definitely not a perfect person, and it's really hard for me to showcase that to others, but I think that I am so unsure of why certain things were placed in my life, though I know these things align with God's perfect plan. More trust. 

-S. Park 

The Lovely Women of Epic at Women's Time

Pumpkins with Pumpkin

Sunrise Bishops Hike... No, No, No

Fergalicious Round Dos

Blame Stress

Hey!
So I have been seriously MIA for the past month, and I regret slacking so much because I feel like expressing what I have been going through on paper would have made everything so much more organized in my own mind. Anyways, enough with the excuses. This quarter has been non-stop fun, stressful, and outright tiring, however amidst all of the chaos, I feel like I continue to find joy through my friends, fellowship, family, and The Lord.  Juggling five classes, observing at a high school, serving as a small group leader, going to church, and work has not been easy, and I hope this quarter really helps me improve my organization and time management skills. Also, I started a second blog! Mostly for subjective projects, such as How-To's and Recipes, as well as some reviews on movies, books, shows, and performances. I'm actually really excited about it, and I hope it really grows me as a writer in other fields of writing. Being in English classes, I'm mainly exposed to analytical writing styles, maintaining a focused eye on the argument. On the other hand, my new blog will help me apply these skills to use writing more efficiently. I'm feeling pretty exhausted, and I currently have a headache. I never get headaches. What is happening to me? There has been a lot of uncertainty during this particular season, and I am striving to maintain a trusting relationship with the Lord. He will open the correct doors, and He knows what is planned for us in the future. Of course, I wonder what these plans are. I am still pretty anxious about it, but having the certainty that God will meet us wherever we are takes the weight off of our own shoulders and places it on His.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
 Proverbs 3:5 

With a bit more peace,

S.Park

My beautiful freshmen beauties

Shaina and I pretending to be hip (expressing our rivalry through sportswear)

Nathania, my work buddy and co-leader for Community Groups (small group)

My Anaconda Don't?

Hello people who think I'm probably extremely weird by now,
Things going to get weirder... Shaina and I made another video! Some people love it, and others love to hate it. I happen to think they are the videos that are going to play in the background of our individual weddings. People will probably be confused as to why the video is of the two of us and not of us and our husbands, but that's how much we love these things. They are so us. We are not ashamed. Shaina has been my rock throughout my experience at Cal Poly, and I am so grateful for her honest, unashamed, God loving, Sarah loving, coffee addicted, sports crazed, cooky, weird, wonderful self. I seriously would've transferred by now if it wasn't for her, and I am so happy that she is my roommate and pillow talk buddy every night. So, honestly, I don't care if you think the two of us have lost our minds in this video. I just don't, and trust me when I say that I am normally someone who cares a whole lot of what others think of me. THIS ONE IS FOR YOU SHAINS!

The Ever So Cliché Beginning of the End

A Few Words On the Last First Week of School

Well school started… so that’s a thing. Honestly, I’m glad school started because it keeps me busy and helps me organize my time in an efficient manner. One thing I’m not looking forward to is applying to schools, but that’s another subject. So this year I’m leading Bible Study, which is such a blessing, and I love meeting the new freshmen this year. However, this comes with great responsibility, and I was not prepared for what being a Bible Study leader actually entailed. This whole week has been stuffed with events for Epic and we had to call around 300 freshmen, as well as go to about 120 dorms to meet them. I look at those numbers and I see how much work we have to put into this year, but when I look at those numbers I also see how much God is moving on campus. 300 freshmen signed up! 300! For our club of 80-100 people those numbers are great, and I’m amazed I get to witness this type of turnout. We had around 50 freshmen come out to dessert potluck, which is definitely more than we had last year, and I have met some of the sweetest girls… and a couple English majors YAY! It’s definitely going to be a busy quarter, but I’m taking it one day at a time, and so far I’m still functioning. I know that God will be with me and all the other Bstud leaders this year, and I hope He moves in big ways this year! It was a bit discouraging to see the numbers drop in our first week of Community Group, but I know that God is going to reveal His plan in big ways (: Maybe this is just a transition year, or maybe this is a growing year. Who knows? Every year is just as important as the last and every year is a new season. We shall see how things are when I have like a million things to do and think about, but for now I'm going to enjoy my sleep while I can. Yes. Sleep. 

From the girl awake past her bedtime, 

-S.Park

The Freshmen Community Group Leaders

Thursdays Are Epic

Misplaced Desire

Hello!
Recently I have found myself perusing the idea of what it is like to date as a Christian woman. There are many pressures we face in this world to date. Whether that is from family, watching your friends date, or your own "need" to satisfy that empty feeling. I'm sure many people struggle in this area; why else would us girls want to talk about this topic ALL THE TIME? Don't lie, I know you think it's an interesting topic. Yes, I am single and to be honest I didn't always find satisfaction in that.  I idolized acceptance and I desired to be liked by a physical being rather than seeking love from our Creator. I read an article online on the Resurgence website titled "For the Gals: 8 Principles for Dating," and it really made me do a heart check. What I liked about this article is that it focused and centered itself not on the relationship between the man and woman, but our relationship with God. It challenged me to consider my intentions and my expectations for a relationship, and my heart wasn't centered around loving and seeking God first. I have to remind myself that if, as a single girl, I dedicate my whole being and attention to the love that God has for us first, I won't need to constantly look for the potential "the one" and trust that God has one for me when His timing and His will directs me towards that direction. We are loved already by a God who has died for sinners like me and you, someone who has disregarded that love time and time again. I have much repenting to do for trusting in my own will and not His. Read the article when you have a chance! It's very simple, straight forward, and honest. This topic is a bit embarrassing for me, but I really think it's worth a read even if you're already dating! (:

http://theresurgence.com/2012/03/19/for-the-gals-8-principles-for-dating

-S.Park

Books, Books, Books: The Help by Kathryn Stockett

All my bookworms out there this is a MUST READ. I cannot emphasize how much I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Yes, I have watched the movie a handful of times, and yes, the movie does a good job of conveying the events of this story. If you're afraid of reading it because you've already seen the movie, don't be. The book has like 10 times the amount of information and the way the story transitions between the perspectives of Skeeter, Minnie, and Aibilene is a great way to see the different perspectives of the events that occur. To be honest, Minnie was my favorite character and I would power through the other two character's stories to get back to her's. Though I've seen the movie, I did not view the characters as the people who portrayed them in the movie, but rather as their own separate entity, and I kind of appreciated that because one of the best parts about reading the book is to be able to imagine the setting and the people that fill it. The way she includes historical events that actually occurred during the sixties was also a great way to brush up on some civil rights history, and it made the book seem all the more real. Stockett made sure the reader hated the villains and treasure and love the protagonists. That fiery passion that the audience builds up against the antagonist will make you want to sprint to the end of the book, which is exactly what I did. It was refreshing to read this book, though maybe it didn't depict exactly what the help was thinking; after all, the book was written by a woman raised by the help not someone who actually was the help, the book teamed the reader up with the underdog and genuinely wanted them to win. We all know what goes down in history after the 60s, and we know that every race is not separate from each other in the way of the law, but the emotions and the bravery behind our country's past injustice was revealed and through this my eyes were definitely opened to some of these realities. I JUST LOVED IT SO MUCH!! PLEASE READ IT, PLEASEEEEE. That is all.

With sadness that I read the whole thing and there is no more,

S.Park

Courage

I think that courage is something I lack in. Partly because of my self-doubt and lack of confidence, the anxiety that comes with wondering what people think of you, but also the realization that I was stuck. Reading the Bible all my life, hearing the Gospel countless times, taking Communion every year gets to be a routine. I hear it, it comes in me as the truth, and then it leaves until the next time I hear it, when it should be planted in my heart and convict me to do something. Though I admit I judge others when they do drugs or party or curse (how typical, right?), I do nothing, NOTHING, to share the Gospel. Why? Because I'm scared of what they'll think. This past Sunday, my pastor shared about the book of Ecclesiastes (a book that has followed me since the beginning of last school year). His message opened up the topic of fearing the Lord. Who do we fear more? People or God, the One who created every single person on this earth? Either we do not fear the Lord or we do not have love for other people and a desire for them to come to know the Lord. Ouch. When he spoke those words I knew that they were true. I live my life in fear, but I question whether that is fear from my consciousness, the fear of being condemned, or fear that wants to repent and draw closer to the Lord. Do I love other people enough to lay down my pride or fear of being judged and present the Gospel, the only way to Heaven? Do I love my family enough to do this? Evangelism has ALWAYS been hard for me because I lack desire. My Bible study is going through the series of Matthew, and we are on our last week going through the crucifixion. Reading the passage this morning I was awakened by the questions my packet asked me. "1. If you struggle with being bold about your faith, how does the mocking of Jesus give you courage?"

"2. In Matthew 27:32, a man named Simon was asked to carry Jesus' cross. Jesus himself said that to be a disciple we must deny ourselves and pick up our cross. In what areas of your life do you need to bear your cross daily?"

"3. How does it affect you knowing that it was the love of Christ that compelled him to bear your sin on the cross?"

What we sacrifice daily is absolutely miniature to what Christ did to save us on the cross when He did absolutely nothing wrong in His entire human life on this earth. It's easy to forget the excruciating pain He went through on the day of His crucifixion: the lashings, the thorn crown, the reed, the nailing, the hanging. How can I ever fully imagine that kind of pain? Which is exactly why I need to remind myself of His sacrifice daily. We can't imagine it because Jesus already paid our price. That one day, that one sacrifice washed ALL of our sins away if we just repent before the Lord. How powerful is Jesus' blood?! Jesus' sacrifice and courage to love those who killed Him and die for them is beyond anything we have to do on this earth. We are called to simply spread the news of what the Lord did for us on the cross. While thinking over this, I realized how ungrateful I was being by putting my needs before God's. I was idolizing the opinion of others before the opinion of the Lord. I hope that this realization will help me remember the greater picture of God's plan rather than the small, worldly fixations I have with pride. 

With gratitude,

S.Park