La Dee Da

Good Morning People of the Interweb!
Why are you on the internet instead of studying for finals? Just kidding so am I... obviously. Anywhozzles this week is super bitter but super sweet, as well. Being the last week of school, I'm really busy with finals and projects and essays per the usual, but spending quality time with a lot of people I love keeps me going. First off, I had to say bye to Livia *insert tears on tears,* and though I'm going to see her again in the fall, it's weird not seeing her beautimous face every week... or multiple times a week. She's become one of my closest friends in SLO, and I'm so thankful that we are not only able to seek God and His Word together, but also that we are able to be weird and crazy together. Only she accepts my crazy, delusional, girls gone wild weirdness in the wee hours of the night, well, because she does it too! She's off in Florida on summer project, and I cannot be more happy for her! I'm confident that she's going to be doing amazing things through God this year, and I can't wait to hear all about it and all about the gaters she's eaten. Another farewell is to dearest Mama Yan. Shaina, Ginny, and I can talk for hours on hours and days on days about anything from school to Epic to our personal lives, and she is so compassionate and wise! I'm SOO going to miss her and her passionate self. SO SAD! Also, I was able to have a one on one with Esther making super fast choco chip cookies, we're basically pros, eating an amazing home cooked meal by E-dizzle, and singing duets. I love spending time with her, goofing off with her, and getting to know her more and more! Also, I love her passion for music and her willingness to sing with me haha :)! On the other hand, we are moving into our new apartment tomorrow! It'll be fun reinventing our own space, Shaina and I, and I'm excited to see how this new place affects our lives for the, hopefully, upcoming twoish years. My parents are coming up to move me out, and it'll be awesome to have a little reunion with them. School has taken a turn for the worse compared to the past couple of quarters, and I realized how hard group projects can be, but I know that I'm learning to be patient and understanding, while also trying not to find my worth in my schoolwork. It's hard because I want to please those I surround myself with through being the best at everything I do, but it just never works out that way, and I am just now realizing this. Though, of course, I'm striving to be the best that I can be, I know that grades, in the end, are meaningless if I am not doing it to glorify the Lord, a Lord that doesn't want us to find our worth in grades or looks, but in Him. I'm not using this whole meaningless thing as an excuse for my poor grades, but I'm trying not to beat myself up too much for it, or think of myself as lower or worthless. EEEE Summer is so close I can feel the heat and the lazy days at home, but I'm not quite there, yet. Only two and a half more days! Let's do this, yo!

With conflicting emotions,
S.Park

Our I Won't Give Up/Wrecking Ball Cover hehe

Post Haircut! Thanks Shainaniganns :)

With my fave she-devil at farmers

Last discipleship of the year with this beauty :'(

Phonathon Banquet with the Fuads 

Ginny, don't leave us!

The night we thought we were masterchefs

Smorgasbord

Hallo Peoples,

The last few weeks have just been nonstop busy, busy, busy. First off, we had MAPP which was super fun planning and putting together, though at times stressful, it was worth it knowing that the men had a good time! :) I feel like everyone frantically runs around thirty minutes before the men arrive, wondering if everything will get done, but in the end the event runs smoothly, and all that matters is that the men feel appreciated by us women in Epic! They deserve much praise and appreciation for being some of the kindest, funniest, supportive, and derpiest men I have ever met. You go, guys, you go! Other than that, this past weekend was like the randomest weekend I have had this weekend full of events I didn't know I would partake in. On Friday, I got to spend some time talking to my main girl Shains, and during that time we had forgotten to eat because we both had a little snack around dinner time. Before you knew it it was already 10:30 pm, and nothing in SLO is open at that hour, also, we were too lazy to cook. Therefore, we were rolling around the floor commenting on how hungry we were about a hundred million times before Norman, bless his soul, took us to In N Out! Oh my gosh, I don't think In N Out ever tasted so good. Afterwards we spent about three hours at SLODOCO, and we chatted about random things until 4:30, a time that is absolutely past my bedtime by like 6 hours. At least I got fresh donuts out of it. Downside to that, people saw that I turn into a different person in the wee hours of the night, way too tired to act normal. Anyways, on Saturday after discipleship Shaina and I spent all day in the house, definitely rare for us, but I think the occasional staying home and recharging is always a good thing. At night, however, we went to KBBQ at 9 at night for the 15% off deal (my dreams came true that night. I love meat.) and went to watch a horror film, Oculus, if I didn't fall asleep I would've probably told you not to watch it, but I can't say that because whilst closing my eyes, I drifted into a slumber. It was a great last weekend before dead week, which has already been stressful due to some events that have occurred, but just trusting that God has a bigger picture planned has been a lesson in itself. My expectations for this year were different than actuality, but I think that something greater will come out of it... at least one can hope! Happy Dead Week, Y'all!

-S.Park

It's All Too Real

Hmmm... What to even write about... I'm sitting here on this perfectly gloomy Wednesday afternoon, though I keep thinking it's Thursday, unable to focus on anything. I'm just a hot mess. School isn't looking too appealing to me right at this moment, and the amount of studying I have been doing is literally a shame to all mankind. I deserve to be punished for my laziness. It's spring quarter, a pretty hard one at that, and all I want to do is go to the beach and play, play, play. And eat. Can't forget the food. Don't you have those days when you just want to have the sudden desire to WANT to study? Wouldn't THAT be something? I am currently in my poetry class, listening to a class presentation wondering when my professor will stop his thunderous laughing. Please, sir, just stop. Two days later... Okay so not gonna lie, I totally stopped writing this, and am finishing this post like now... Whatevs. We had Women's Time yesterday! I had such an amazing time with my other sisters, and lead worship for the first time with a guitar. Initially, I was super nervous because I have never played in front of people other than like my roommates, but then I was like this is for God. Not me or my pride or my self-satisfaction. I think Women's Time in general was just a reminder of all of that. Only God can satisfy my dissatisfactions, my emptiness, my lack of motivation. I hung out with an upperclassmen, Katie, yesterday, and she is honestly so wise and amazing! I was talking about how I found myself being complacent with certain things, and she reminded me that as much as it is important for us to pour into each other, God is the one who should pour into us and satisfy us. Why do I forget this so often? I'm always thinking about what other people can do for me, or how affirmation from people satisfy me, but at the end of the day, isn't this life about God? I'm gonna miss you, Katie!!!! Never leave!! I seriously LOVE the women's community in EPIC. Though we are far from perfect, I can honestly say I can count on every single one of the women to be there for me whenever I'm in a sticky situation or if I just need someone to talk to about life. Now onwards to MAPP prep! :)

With satisfaction,
S. Park

Finally

Guys, guys, guys guess what? We found an apartment!!!! YAYYY! It's in our price range and even closer to school! Who could say no to that? Shaina and I have been so stressed trying to find somewhere, and it initially felt weird that we were freed from this stress that had been lingering for over a month. Patience definitely tested me, and looking back, I realize this is a good thing. I have never been a patient person, always anxious, and through this experience, I was able to learn what it was like trust God for something we needed. Anyways, Fish Bowl 2014 happened! Getting to know and play with girls our age, as well as, older girls was such a blessing! I absolutely love the girls, and it was so much fun being on their team. On the day of the event, however, I unfortunately tweaked my knee, and am now in a brace HAHA. That would happen to me, right? It wasn't even that far into the game. Sigh. I don't think it's that injured, though. I got to go home this weekend, and I forgot how much I missed home. It was so fun being able to connect with the girls I'm going to Myanmar missions with this year at church, and to spend time bonding with my family. I want to go back home NOW! We only have four more weeks so I just need to sit tight, focus on school, and get it rollin.

Peace Up, ATown Down,
S.Park

Beach Days for Days

With the Fiercest Stacia

Studyin...

On My Mind

This quarter has been flying by waaay too fast... I'm not sure if my spring quarter has been ideal, and it's nothing like last year, but I feel as though I have been growing as a person, building endurance to push through the rough times. I don't know how to express the way I have been feeling the past couple of weeks. It's just a cycle of school, apartment hunting, and awkwardness that I don't know how to shake off. I have been oh so blessed by older girls this quarter who have supported and hung out with me practically every weekend now that I think about it... I hope they're not sick of me yet. I feel as though I can be as crazy and WEIRD with them, and they accept me for me... hopefully. I CANNOT believe they're going to be fourth years next year... CRAZY! I don't know what I'm going to do when they all graduate :( In other news, this whole housing crisis hasn't been resolved, and with every phone call from my parents, I get more anxious and stressed out. I just want to find an apartment, but things just haven't been moving along. I just don't even know, anymore. YIKES! I was able to meet up with Jocelyn for the first time in over a year... crazy, because it doesn't feel that long. It was awesome to catch up with her, and how she's been in her walk, as well as, her time growing in college. Not only that, but we cooked! I never cook! We had chicken lettuce wraps, and they were delish, we ate like two huge chicken breasts worth of filling, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. All in all, I don't even know where I'm at,  but I know that once I'm out of this lull, things will be and feel so much better, I just don't see God's plan in all of this, yet, and that's okay.

With uncertainty,
-S.Park

Had a crazy juicing party... uhh... yeah

Working the Green and Gold Event with these cuties!

One on one with Jocey-poo (:

The chicken lettuce wraps!

Such a special night! Made me so proud to be at Cal Poly!

Anxiety... Anxiety... Happiness?

Let's just all take this time to take a deep, deep, miserable sigh, shall we? 1, 2, 3 breathe in and, take as long as you need, to breathe it all out. Shoot, I am such a drama queen. However, this past week has been a rough one... all this housing stuff and so on and so forth has been seriously damaging my vibe. I wonder why it is so difficult to make a decision, why our choices are polar opposites of each other, why this is causing so much silent havoc in my life. Is there no happy medium? Maybe God is teaching me to be more assertive? More patient? Right now I just want all of this to go away. Enter, another sigh. Because I have never had to go through something like this, I think anxiety and nervousness has been consuming my life. Now, I know that I am not going to be homeless by any means, but the uncertainty is making me antsy. Thank goodness I have Shaina to put me in my place. She's always reminding me to choose happiness and joy, reminding me that we aren't going to be hobos on the street, and reminding me to think twice about my decisions so that I don't regret them in the future. I'm sure I can be annoying at times, and my indecisiveness doesn't help in the least bit, but I also believe that the rewards will be greater and far more lasting than what I feel right now.
On another note, yesterday was The Pitch! An informative meeting for prospective Bible Study leaders lead by Cru with a super cute baseball theme, might I add. I hoarded so many snacks. Heh. Heh. Though there is still an application process, I feel so blessed that God has placed this opportunity into my life, and am so excited to see how it all works out! (: See, I can be optimistic and happy about SOMETHING.
Next week comes midterms, essays, and projects, so all I can say is, bring it on spring quarter, bring it on.

With determination,
-S.Park

I got a guitar, yo. Sorry neighbors and roommates

We made it to the top of Bishops! So blessed by Liv (:

Calvary Easter service. The children's choir was SO ADORABLE!

He is Risen!!

Happy Easter Everyone!!
Isn't it so amazing that Jesus died on the cross for us and rose again? Honestly, I go through this whole Easter thing every single year, and most times I'm like, "Yes, yes. Jesus died. Yes. Thank you" without much conviction. This year, however, I reevaluated the meaning of the cross. Why did God choose Jesus? Why were we born with sin? were thoughts that I was ashamed of asking myself. However, upon further thought and evaluation I realized that God didn't even have to make us in the first place. We could be little globules of nonexistence. God chose us and made us to glorify Him and have a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ out of His mercy and grace, and sent His one and only Son to die in our sinful place. Why should I even question that kind of grace?

This quarter has been rough, already. School wise I am loving my professors, though all pretty tough, I would rather come out of the class learning something worth the money my parents put into the school. However, looking for housing has been stressful to say the least. I think God is teaching me patience through all of this, though, honestly, I haven't even been waiting that long. I guess I'm just anxious, but I know something will turn up! :) Not gonna lie, I was a hot mess for a couple of days frantically calling apartments for openings and such, but I just get super nervous. I'm only human, you know. Friends have been so gracious and loving these past few weeks, and valuable friendships in the women's community have been growing. I am constantly reminded of God's loving plan that He has for me, and that I don't need to be anxious or worried. Other than that, I am looking forward to spring retreat and the fellowship and worship that will happen there! I don't really know what to expect, but I always come out learning something valuable and new, so I doubt that this weekend will be different from the past!

Just a quick update since I have been too lazy/otherwise occupied.

Happiest Resurrection Day!!

-S.Park