I didn't even notice that almost a month has gone by since writing on my blog. Life has been... tiring? I told myself that I wouldn't focus so heavily on my tiredness because I realized dwelling on how much sleep I need always consumes the good things that happen throughout my day. I'm finally 21 which has been exciting, I guess, but mostly because I get to go to Tot Night and get TATOR TOTS YAY! Quick story. So I was leading worship a week ago, and I get a text from one of the leaders, Michael Golahi, saying "worship leader's meeting tonight at 5 pm," to which I replied "Okay, sounds good!" All chipper and such. Then I do my thing and, eventually, I get another long text that basically read, "I have a group meeting and have to push the meeting back to 11 pm." I literally got on my knees and wailed for a second because I had early morning class the next day. Need to get my beauty rest the day before my birthday, ya know? I did everything I could to get out of it. "Can I meet you tomorrow?" "Can I meet with the other worship leader?" "Can I talk on the phone?" but to no avail. He was persistent. Now, other people told me that this was so obvious, but I honestly didn't think anything of it. I wouldn't put an 11 o'clock meeting past some of these guys LOL. I did have a little inkling of an idea that it could have POSSIBLY been a surprise party, but ever so slight. When I arrived at the door I see the lights on, and I automatically tuck away any thoughts of it being a surprise. I heard Harrison's voice saying, "Sarah, you're late man." It was 10:58. I came storming through the door yelling "It's only 10:58! What do you mean I'm late?" and suddenly I am bombarded by people yelling "SURPRISE!" I literally crouched down and yelled. It was such a shock that so many people were together in one room to celebrate me. Big shoutout to my girl Shaina, my co BVo, and poor Michael Golahi (sorry!!). It was something I will never ever forget :)
I think that something I've been learning is to not let my tiredness keep me from investing in valuable relationships. It's been pretty hard coming home late at night and not want to hop into bed and knock out, but I also realized that my friendships are worth it, no? They have invested in me more than I am deserving of, and I tend to do what my laziness tells me to. I use my busyness as an excuse. It's a sense of pride, as well. "Look how much I am capable of doing." "Look how much I am growing." But am I really? Am I really growing from my responsibilities or am I spiritually regressing? Being spiritually honest and aware has been a really beneficial change, knowing where I am weak, knowing I need unending grace. Lord, I need you. Week 6 here we go... :)
-S.Park
