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Saturday, May 24, 2014

It's All Too Real

Hmmm... What to even write about... I'm sitting here on this perfectly gloomy Wednesday afternoon, though I keep thinking it's Thursday, unable to focus on anything. I'm just a hot mess. School isn't looking too appealing to me right at this moment, and the amount of studying I have been doing is literally a shame to all mankind. I deserve to be punished for my laziness. It's spring quarter, a pretty hard one at that, and all I want to do is go to the beach and play, play, play. And eat. Can't forget the food. Don't you have those days when you just want to have the sudden desire to WANT to study? Wouldn't THAT be something? I am currently in my poetry class, listening to a class presentation wondering when my professor will stop his thunderous laughing. Please, sir, just stop. Two days later... Okay so not gonna lie, I totally stopped writing this, and am finishing this post like now... Whatevs. We had Women's Time yesterday! I had such an amazing time with my other sisters, and lead worship for the first time with a guitar. Initially, I was super nervous because I have never played in front of people other than like my roommates, but then I was like this is for God. Not me or my pride or my self-satisfaction. I think Women's Time in general was just a reminder of all of that. Only God can satisfy my dissatisfactions, my emptiness, my lack of motivation. I hung out with an upperclassmen, Katie, yesterday, and she is honestly so wise and amazing! I was talking about how I found myself being complacent with certain things, and she reminded me that as much as it is important for us to pour into each other, God is the one who should pour into us and satisfy us. Why do I forget this so often? I'm always thinking about what other people can do for me, or how affirmation from people satisfy me, but at the end of the day, isn't this life about God? I'm gonna miss you, Katie!!!! Never leave!! I seriously LOVE the women's community in EPIC. Though we are far from perfect, I can honestly say I can count on every single one of the women to be there for me whenever I'm in a sticky situation or if I just need someone to talk to about life. Now onwards to MAPP prep! :)

With satisfaction,
S. Park

Monday, May 19, 2014

Finally

Guys, guys, guys guess what? We found an apartment!!!! YAYYY! It's in our price range and even closer to school! Who could say no to that? Shaina and I have been so stressed trying to find somewhere, and it initially felt weird that we were freed from this stress that had been lingering for over a month. Patience definitely tested me, and looking back, I realize this is a good thing. I have never been a patient person, always anxious, and through this experience, I was able to learn what it was like trust God for something we needed. Anyways, Fish Bowl 2014 happened! Getting to know and play with girls our age, as well as, older girls was such a blessing! I absolutely love the girls, and it was so much fun being on their team. On the day of the event, however, I unfortunately tweaked my knee, and am now in a brace HAHA. That would happen to me, right? It wasn't even that far into the game. Sigh. I don't think it's that injured, though. I got to go home this weekend, and I forgot how much I missed home. It was so fun being able to connect with the girls I'm going to Myanmar missions with this year at church, and to spend time bonding with my family. I want to go back home NOW! We only have four more weeks so I just need to sit tight, focus on school, and get it rollin.

Peace Up, ATown Down,
S.Park



Beach Days for Days


With the Fiercest Stacia


Studyin...

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

On My Mind

This quarter has been flying by waaay too fast... I'm not sure if my spring quarter has been ideal, and it's nothing like last year, but I feel as though I have been growing as a person, building endurance to push through the rough times. I don't know how to express the way I have been feeling the past couple of weeks. It's just a cycle of school, apartment hunting, and awkwardness that I don't know how to shake off. I have been oh so blessed by older girls this quarter who have supported and hung out with me practically every weekend now that I think about it... I hope they're not sick of me yet. I feel as though I can be as crazy and WEIRD with them, and they accept me for me... hopefully. I CANNOT believe they're going to be fourth years next year... CRAZY! I don't know what I'm going to do when they all graduate :( In other news, this whole housing crisis hasn't been resolved, and with every phone call from my parents, I get more anxious and stressed out. I just want to find an apartment, but things just haven't been moving along. I just don't even know, anymore. YIKES! I was able to meet up with Jocelyn for the first time in over a year... crazy, because it doesn't feel that long. It was awesome to catch up with her, and how she's been in her walk, as well as, her time growing in college. Not only that, but we cooked! I never cook! We had chicken lettuce wraps, and they were delish, we ate like two huge chicken breasts worth of filling, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. All in all, I don't even know where I'm at,  but I know that once I'm out of this lull, things will be and feel so much better, I just don't see God's plan in all of this, yet, and that's okay.

With uncertainty,
-S.Park


Had a crazy juicing party... uhh... yeah

Working the Green and Gold Event with these cuties!

One on one with Jocey-poo (:

The chicken lettuce wraps!

Such a special night! Made me so proud to be at Cal Poly!